Sunday, October 23, 2022
Have you ever had a disagreement with somebody you care about? Have you ever wondered, "How can they think that way?" Have you ever wondered how to avoid such conflict? I have the solution: communicate your expectations. All conflict arises out of expectations that are not met. I expected you to take out the trash without being asked. You didn't, so you must not appreciate me very much, and if you don't appreciate me, then I will stop doing anything for you! See how that spirals out of control rather quickly? The garbage didn't get taken out because it was not communicated effectively that there was a "need" by both people to remove the garbage, and that the problem was obvious, and required immediate attention. (That's a lot to take in!) I have a better way. Communicate your expectations in a way that is not demanding, but rather collaborative if possible. "See how this benefits both of us?" Then the expectations will be available for both to interact with intention. If nothing gets done after that, well, there may be bigger underlying problems and motivations. Those are better left for another day... IF you want something done, communicate it so your expectations are known without being demanding. Watch how your relationships improve... or at least your expectations will be known.
Just What We Need